The coffee vending machine has become a necessity of life. Also, coffee from different machines tastes different. So let me correct the statement to – ‘The coffee vending machine which is on my floor has become a necessity of life’. Yeah that’s better.
So the other day, this machine failed to work. Probably because the whole office got salary raises, while this poor thing was left out. Human Resources department can be lousy at most of the times. How could they spare the coffee machine? No wonder the little thing revolted. However machines on other floors did not cooperate, instead they agreed to work overtime and serve coffee in lieu of this broken machine.
Now it was the employees’ turn, and we rejected that coffee instantly – frankly, it tasted awful. Talk about loyalty of the staff towards a machine and this may sound as the greatest example in history of coffee vending machines.
Ok, now don’t blame me for making you read this crappy write up. I haven’t had my coffee since morning, what else do you expect me to do??
I was traveling to my office today afternoon. Being a Saturday, trains were comfortably empty and I was standing at the door. Standing next to me was a guy, probably in his late twenties, who boarded the train from Thane. From his dressing and accent, he sounded from some uptown Mumbai area. Poor guy… he was in tears and sobbing and all. He was repeatedly calling up his female friend, R, who was not entertaining his call. Apparently R had asked our guy to ditch S before he could be her boyfriend, but after some time R ditched him and went away with P.
Some (vanilla) excerpts from their loud talk:
“R, how can you do this to me, R?”
“I did so much for you…. I even stopped talking to S, but still you are getting unreasonable day by day. I can’t take this R”
“Don’t cut the phone R; I want to talk to you”
“Is that P? Is that P? Tell me! I can hear him in the background…. Are you with P? Answer me R”
“You want me to hang up? You want me to hang up? Why? So that you can go and hug P again?”
“You are so cheap R, cant you get enough of guys?”
“You created mistrust between me and S. Why did you do that? I had already told her exactly what you asked me to”
“I don’t want to talk to you R. Don’t ever call up again”
“R, I’m sorry. Talk to me please, I don’t want to hang up”
At that point, my destination (Kurla) arrived, and I got down.
I don’t understand how people, even at this age, can’t be in control of their emotions. Ok, now don’t get judgmental here. I’m all for sympathy towards the sobbing man, but the situation is too juvenile to sob about. All this melodrama is too filmi and artificial.
Nevertheless he provided some entertainment to everyone in the compartment by yelling, crying and blabbering about relationships among his friends. Meanwhile the telepone operator made money.
Is our ‘K’ queen reading this?
When dad first got a computer in 1999 for using at home, he was the only person using it. I had a mouse-phobia, which I overcame after six months. Then I started discovering Windows 3.1 on a black and white 486 DX2 machine.
My learning curve rose exponentially until 2004 when my younger sister also started using the machine. By ‘use’ I mean real work and not just playing games. Although my territory was intruded, yet I had not lost the dominance.
In 2005, dad achieved partial freedom by buying a new laptop. Now it was only me and my sister who would share the home computer. Dad has occasional office work.
However, in Jan 06, my mother finished learning the basics of word, internet and email. She also knows how to type Marathi in Unicode. That’s great, but terrible for me. Now I can no longer assume the availability of home computer. There are 3 others who challenge my claim.
Live example of how we run out of resources.
I’ve decided to get lucky… (nah, not that way! 
) by ‘buying’ the lucky bamboo – the feng shui thing. I saw it at one of my friends place and clicked this photograph. I heard it brings luck. Not willing to hassle with office watchdogs, I had to content myself with keeping ‘soft copy’ of the bamboo plant in my computer instead of having a real one on my desk. So, I’ve been sporting it as my desktop wallpaper in office computer for three months now.
Although I don’t claim to have got lucky, I admit nothing has gone wrong either.
Therefore I decided to go full throttle and act superstitious by attempting to purchase the plant – arrival of the New Year would be a good pretext to escape the suspicion that I’ve got superstitious. Smart boy (I like to keep saying that).
Bad luck though. The seller at the store said that I can’t buy a lucky bamboo for myself. Someone else needs to gift it to me. Hmm… what a brilliant strategy, I thought, to double the sales – probably I’ll have to find another jackass and we’ll have to buy lucky bamboos for each other.
Too much work. I’d rather stick with the ‘soft copy’. Does anyone want it? I’m willing to email it ‘directly’ to you ! Think about it – hard luck comes often, but did you ever have soft luck?
सध्या लग्नाचा ‘सीझन’ असल्यामुळे “उद्या नाही जमणार रे! माझी ३ लग्न आहेत” .. अशा प्रकारची संभाषणं ऐकायला मिळ्तात. शनिवारी सकाळी आॅफिस ला जात असताना विचित्र वाटत होतं. थोड्या वेळाने लक्षात आलं की ही रोजची गर्दी नसून लग्नाला/रिसेप्शनला जाणार्यांची आहे. तरीच आज लेडीज डबा अधिकच् सजलेला दिसत होता.
Election fever is gripping the suburb. Approx 1.5 million (thanks Debu for the correction) voters will elect corporators for Kalyan Dombivli Municipal Corporation (KDMC). Currently KDMC is governed by BJP-ShivSena combine, and my estimate says they will continue to be in power.
The other day this contestant on a door-to-door campaign turned up at our doorstep. I happened to be in a not-so-good mood and was irritated by the noise and intrusion of the politician – whom I consider the filthiest creatures on earth.
“___ चा, विजय असो! याच पक्षाला तुमचे अमूल्य मत द्या! यांची निशाणी आहे___”
“जिंकून जिंकून जिंकनार कोन ? __ शिवाय आहेच् कोन “*
“ताई माई आक्का विचार करा पक्का ___ वर मारा शिक्का”
“___ कईसा हय? सोने जईसा सच्चा हय”*
and so on. (*note the accents)
While he sported a perfect ‘Miss Universe’ smile and his chamchas (followers) handed over the manifesto, I interrupted them by asking a naughty question:
“तुमचं किती शिक्षण झालं आहे ?” (“What is your education qualification?”)
Silence. All eyes focussed on me, even our neighbour paused to hear. Then someone quipped – “He is B.Com”. I gladly accepted the manifesto and shut the door; at least the guy knows the names of degrees!
कधी कधी मी उगाच् आगाऊ पणा करतो. आवरायला हवं.
तरी नशीब – “तुम्ही शिकले आहात का… ?” असं नाही विचारलं! गेम झाला असता!
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