Doomsday / Apocalypse diary

Someone predicted Apocalypse or Judgement day or Doomsday today. So I thought of blogging about my experience of this day.

Dear readers,

As you may know, American Christian radio host Harold Camping declared (after extensive research of the Bible and complex mathematical calculations) that today, May 21, 2011 would mark the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. The five-month process would start today with Rapture (the phenomenon in which God selects people who go to heaven and leaves the rest to suffer), also known as the Day of Judgement and culminate on October 21, 2011 when the world will be destroyed.

Besides being completely puzzled why this said God, the possessor of supernatural powers, would take the pain to come to earth only with the intent of destroying it, I am also curious to know about the significance of this particular date. But should the said prophecy come to fruition, I wanted to be among the select few souls who were enthusiastically documenting their last day on earth.

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Innocent Dandelions early in the morning, oblivious to the fact that they’d be dead soon. Do plants get raptured? How do things without a ‘soul’ go to the heaven?

00:20 Bed time
“Oh this is my last sleep,” I thought as I snuggled under the sheets. The air was warm and humid. Meteorologists said that this was due to warm air current from the south but what do they know! I think its just a signal indicating His arrival. Ah well, I better be fully rested before the big day tomorrow… Good night fellow humans…

05:00 Alarm goes off
What the hell, its my last day… I am going to sleep in. [Dismisses the alarm]

06:00 Wake up
Noise on the street outside woke me up, plus my natural body clock won’t let me sleep any longer. So I decided to wake up and continue this entry.

07:35 Eat a grapefruit
After pretending to do some Yoga followed by some intimate romantic activity and a quick shower, I ate a small breakfast consisting of toast, jam and a grapefruit. I thought it would be wise to have some healthy food before I die because who knows what would happen next. The day was gorgeous and since I was going to be home alone, I decided to get out and experience the world as I knew it.

08:19 Caffination
I’m not sure if that’s even a word but perhaps I could leave humanity with an invention on the last day. I would have spent $100 on an espresso (since money wouldn’t matter tomorrow) but the cute Barista at the independent fair trade organic coffee shop would accept only 2% of that. The cafe was deserted, I wondered what other people were doing.

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09:55 Nothing happened yet
It was 22:55 in Japan and I hadn’t heard of any disaster of doomsdayesque proportion yet. The sun was about to set in India and I imaged my friends heading out to eat and my parents setting up a camp in the Himalayas where they are trekking right now. There is activity in the cafe and I can see some guys conversing with each other, accompanied by very animated gestures and random bursts of laughter in between. Meanwhile I was composing a story on Mexico for my travel blog.

11:31 Yard sale
A streetcar (tram) broke down right outside the cafe and a repair crew came to attend it while people watched with curiousity and kids screamed in excitement. I’m sure this would become a top story for Toronto’s evening news which is otherwise filled with headlines of a cat trapped on the roof or a mother who saver her daughter from getting crushed under a speeding car. Yes, that’s sometimes even a national news story in Canada, a cheerful reminder how peaceful and uneventful my new motherland can be. I got tired of the commotion and wanted some fresh air so I decided to pay a visit to Mariellen, author of the book Song of India and my newest blog-friend, who was holding a yard sale in the neighbourhood.

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13:12 Chickpeas and tamarind sauce
Lunch, accompanied by some lemon tea and followed by a banana, made me drowsy so I decided to take a nap. I also made elaborate biking plans to meet my sweetheart at Port Credit and watch the sunset while having dinner in the village by the lake. The doomsday is expected to hit this timezone precisely at 18:00. Who knows what’ll happen.

15:26 Cycling
Instead of taking a nap I did some cleaning, sorted the laundry and drank copious amount of ginger tea. I have 150 minutes left until doomsday hits Toronto and I plan to spend the first 90 minutes biking along the shore of Lake Ontario enjoying the cool breeze and warmth of the spring sun. It’s such a beautiful day! I’m happy the Rapture is occurring on a cheerful day like that. This God is naughty; everyone is enjoying the day but little do they know what devilish plans He has in store for them…

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17:20 Seagulls and Tulips
It was a perfect day to bike on the waterfront trail cutting through parks, idyllic neighbourhoods and suburban commercial zones. I reached Port Credit and sat on a large stone on the water side of the board walk, where no soul dared to go (because there was a fence). I sat there watching a flock of seagulls hover over an old ship far away and some playful swans swimming around the shore near me. A cloud of tiny bugs flew past me towards a patch of red and yellow tulips that were dancing in the gentle breeze on the other side of the boardwalk.

18:00 Doomsday strikes!
Well, it was supposed to, but nothing happened. I guess I got left behind to suffer with other fun loving people. :-)

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19:22 Organic dinner
Appetizer: Green kale leaves seasoned and dehydrated until crispy
Main 1: A mix of kelp and zucchini noodles tossed in a light tangy maca infused almond butter based sauce with red pepper, fresh cilantro, romaine lettuce, red onions and topped with spiced almond bits.
Main 2: Spicy taco salad with avocados, spiced sundried tomatoes, beet-tomato salad, red pepper, red onions, dairy-free cream dressing, etc.
Dessert: Gluten-free dairy-free Chocolate Banana cake.

I think that was a very wisely chosen meal, celebrating the fact that we were left behind to enjoy life and the world as we knew it.

22:18 Back home
I guess the day is nearly over… but I am holding my horses. I have to be alert for another 100 minutes. We are going out to a bar now, to see some friends and have a good time in general; celebrate this silly day.

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07:07 Sunday, May 22, 2011
I AM ALIVE!! I was so relieved to wake up with the sound of Church bells ringing in my head! I don’t know if the sound was real or just a dream.
“Ah, a message from God denouncing the thoughtless Apocalypse prediction of yesterday?” I wondered.

Hope we don’t fall victims to such propaganda in future. This ends my diary entry.

Live long and prosper.

- – -

I’ll update this post frequently today. If I stop updating it, assume one of the following:

  1. I have been Raptured (i.e. chosen to go to heaven, where 72 virgins await me. No wait, that’s the Islamic version.) But as you know, this is very unlikely as I am not baptised as a Christian. But I did follow (i.e. visit) Jesus Christ from his birthplace at Bethlehem to his childhood in Nazereth and youth in Galilee, to his final journey (Stations of the cross) in Jerusalem. Maybe that will give me some brownie points….??
  2. I have not been chosen to go to Christian heaven. Instead, I am still on Earth but there is no internet access because the satellites have been destroyed.

Disclaimer: It probably sounds like I am mocking today’s doomsday prediction. I want to make it very clear that this post IS meant to be offensive and insulting to those who believe that billions of people should die just because they do not believe in a particular deity.

16 thoughts on “Doomsday / Apocalypse diary

  1. Finally something on personal blog after long time. Needless to say nicely written. All of a sudden cool breezes are flowing here, scared me after reading this. In my opinion those who have humanity will surely head to heaven.

  2. Once one of the Innocent Dandelions came in my dream and asked, “Do you too have a soul just as we do? My friends tell me humans have no soul!”

    I replied, “… just a matter of perception”.

    btw, is the station photograph an HDR one?

  3. i m feeling too lazy today so will borrow words from Amod :- “Finally something on personal blog after long time. Needless to say nicely written”

  4. The “virgin” thing always cracked me up. I mean, maybe men like the idea of a virgin woman… but I can tell you that it’s not necessarily a great thing for a woman to “initiate” a guy! :lol:

    Alright sorry, here I am sinning again. I shall not mention anything sexual anymore.

    I spent doomsday enjoying the great weather and taking pictures of the tulips. I was 100% I would be left behind so I didn’t do anything special! :lol:

  5. Actually, someone (whom I could not see) tucked my sleeve at 6 pm. I said rudely, “I’m NOT going. I’m NOT ready.” And I was left in peace. If you ever want to go to Heaven, just stick with me. I’ll take all my blogfriends with me. It could be soon, alas! I’ll understand if you prefer to take a chance on your own…

    Love your post!-)

  6. Lately people are so scared of the end of the world. I would say if it’s ment to be you can’t change it. It’s unbelieveble that there are people who quiet there jobs, because they believe in these kind of things.

  7. Pingback: Doomsday: Is the world really ending today? | » That Was Random .com - Sharing Random Videos, Images and More. Sharing Random Stuff from Present to Nostalgic

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