Damn, I cannot use iTunes to manufacture missiles or biological weapons!

I have a confession to make. I had a long standing dream of designing and making weapons of mass destruction using a music software on my laptop. In order to achieve my dream, I downloaded a free copy of iTunes software. But guess what, Apple won’t let me reach my goal…

These are real screenshots from Apple’s iTunes License Agreement which I was asked to agree to while updating to iTunes v 8.1.1 (Mac). I’m pasting relevant sections of the user agreement that prohibits you from doing certain activities. If you have heard this before, see it yourself.

Screen shot 1:

I can’t run a Nuclear plant or fly a plane using iTunes…

THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.

(I apologise for the block letters. It’s not me screaming, its Apple itself! I wonder why they need to write in capital letters…)
Since they didn’t mention anything about Trains and Buses, maybe I can drive them using iTunes…

Screen shot 2:

Not allowed to make missiles or nukes….

…you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

Oh fcuk. I have to invent some electronic weapons now…

In the same paragraph, it also says:

…Apple Software may not be exported or re-exported (a) into any U.S. embargoed countries… you represent and warrant that you are not located in any such country or on any such list.

I feel sorry for the Pakis…

Screen shot 3:

Riots, God, non-performance, shortage of labor, fluctuations in heat… they all go in one coolest-sentence-ever!

…liable for any delay or failure in performance resulting directly or indirectly from acts of nature, forces, or causes beyond its reasonable control, including, without limitation, Internet failures, computer equipment failures, telecommunication equipment failures, other equipment failures, electrical power failures, strikes, labor disputes, riots, insurrections, civil disturbances, shortages of labor or materials, fires, floods, storms, explosions, acts of God, war, governmental actions, orders of domestic or foreign courts or tribunals, non-performance of third parties, or loss of or fluctuations in heat, light, or air conditioning.

Seriously. Acts of God? hear hear… I always knew Satan was the good guy.

- – -
If your dreams were as visionary and ambitious as mine, I’m sorry to have shattered them…

I guess now I’ll use iTunes for… Music I guess…

PS: For those who have no clue what I am talking about: Apple’s iTunes is the standard software on Mac (now also on Windows) and is used to play music, sync ipod, listen to radio, etc.
Oh the extent to which these corporates go to cover their asses… I suggest they also declare that iTunes cannot be used for pedophilia, sexual molestation, sub-prime mortgages and war of terror.

¶ Blogged by Priyank Thatte | Tags: Computer, Humor