Caught between a sequence of events that seem hell bent upon culminating into the biggest ethical dilemma faced in my 24 year young life, I pray to my buddy, (known to others as ‘God’), “Oh Lord!, please pull me out of this, and I swear I’ll never ever wander close to it” (In fact I pledge to stay astronomical distances away). “Ah, double standards”, yells my mind back as I sway into the conventional mindset – remembering the Almighty when required and then being content keeping him away in his physical medium on grandma’s prayer desk when the work is done. How mean! Yea I know!.
Few lines I read from a website come to the rescue:
… the eternal and unchangeable soul which is inherently free from delusion, ignorance, impotence and sorrow. So explains the preceptor: “Control yourself – your thoughts, speech and body – and you shall effectively control the world. Drop the mental baggage you have been carrying around; drop the external self-identifications, attachments and desires; stop adding to your perception of the adversity in this world! Nothing can harm you, the eternal soul. Nothing outside of you, the soul, gives you happiness or takes it away. All joy and sorrow comes from you, from your deluded perceptions and worldly expectations, and not from that which is not you.”
…und so weiter (why do I even bother to read this
Yah, if only that was a little easier to do, I’d be sporting a warm yellow halo behind my head like the Gods and wise men depicted in the mythological shows on TV.
For the past two weeks I’m either sitting with Aakruti (name of my computer) typing away those goddamn b-school essays in double spaced twelve point times font face while listening to my play list priy.sha.vad.one (arranged as: Priyank > Hindustani Shastriya > Vaadya Sangeet > Play list 1) or talking on the phone with B or R. Mom is frustrated worrying about two things (well three actually), one – my headphones blasting away my eardrums and two – excessive electromagnetic (or whatever) waves entering my feeble brain from my cell phone. (I suspect she is also suspicious about something )
I know, I need to go out into the open for more than just plucking flowers for Grandma’s morning puja.
Aargh…! Screw it. I feel like going to the moon with my laptop. Going away (don’t you dare say ‘escaping’) from this physical world to seek solace (?) in the unfathomable depths of the unexplored universe. Armed with a ‘Do not disturb’ sign.